Post by FastNFancy on Oct 16, 2002 13:02:22 GMT -5
The congregation is preaching along with the preacher!!
Mothers will be shouting the place down in the Spirit and stop abruptly to beat their child!!
You pass the offering plate without putting anything in it and the usher passes it right back to you and waits for you to put something in it!!
You testify for more than 5 minutes, the musicians will start playing shouting music to shut you up!!
During the communion folks be grabbing extra crackers for the kids and sipping the grape juice before time!!
The mothers forget their teeth and say "Let everything that haves breasts praise the Lord!!
The deacons sing during devotional service and you can't understand A WORD!!
The leader forgets the lead of their song and starts shouting so they won't be embarrassed!!
You run around the church in the Spirit, trip and fall and pretend you fell out under the Power so you won't be embarrassed!!
The preacher has a cape!!
The bishop comes to town and the necklines drop and the hemlines rise (HMMmmmm)!!
A prophet is identified as the "bow legged prophet" or the "barefoot prophet" or the "singing prophet"!!
They are selling chips, pickles, candy, pops and stockings out of the pastor's study!!
The choir is singing a song that has "whatsonever" in it!!
The choir sings hard before the preacher preaches and then when it's time to sing after the preaching, there are two choir members in the stand!!
The choir sings one line of somebody's favorite song and immediately that somebody "goes in" shouting "Dass my song-thankya Jesus"!!
You hafta speak in tongues to keep from cussing somebody out!!
Sis. Palmer gets up to lead a song and she cracks and is off key and someone in the audience shouts "Take ya time, baby...sing for the Lord!!"
The preacher gets his whoop on and spit is flying e'rewhere!!
Children imitate the older members of the church shouting!!
Sis. Johnson gets up to make an announcement about a program and she keeps on saying "Bear with me saints, I'm nervous!" and you're in the congregation saying "I wish she would go 'head and make the announcement and sit down!!" And the Pastor is looking around all flustered wishing she would just wrap it up!!
High praise is going on and the Pastor and the old church mother are shouting together and her slip slips down to the floor and she don't care a bit!!
The ushers lock the front door during offering!!
The members try the ushers patience by trying to open the front door during prayer and the usher looks back through the door window with a look like "Touch this door again and you will die"!!
You bust the back out of a tambourine you borrowed without permission and try to slip it under somebody else's seat!!
Mothers will be shouting the place down in the Spirit and stop abruptly to beat their child!!
You pass the offering plate without putting anything in it and the usher passes it right back to you and waits for you to put something in it!!
You testify for more than 5 minutes, the musicians will start playing shouting music to shut you up!!
During the communion folks be grabbing extra crackers for the kids and sipping the grape juice before time!!
The mothers forget their teeth and say "Let everything that haves breasts praise the Lord!!
The deacons sing during devotional service and you can't understand A WORD!!
The leader forgets the lead of their song and starts shouting so they won't be embarrassed!!
You run around the church in the Spirit, trip and fall and pretend you fell out under the Power so you won't be embarrassed!!
The preacher has a cape!!
The bishop comes to town and the necklines drop and the hemlines rise (HMMmmmm)!!
A prophet is identified as the "bow legged prophet" or the "barefoot prophet" or the "singing prophet"!!
They are selling chips, pickles, candy, pops and stockings out of the pastor's study!!
The choir is singing a song that has "whatsonever" in it!!
The choir sings hard before the preacher preaches and then when it's time to sing after the preaching, there are two choir members in the stand!!
The choir sings one line of somebody's favorite song and immediately that somebody "goes in" shouting "Dass my song-thankya Jesus"!!
You hafta speak in tongues to keep from cussing somebody out!!
Sis. Palmer gets up to lead a song and she cracks and is off key and someone in the audience shouts "Take ya time, baby...sing for the Lord!!"
The preacher gets his whoop on and spit is flying e'rewhere!!
Children imitate the older members of the church shouting!!
Sis. Johnson gets up to make an announcement about a program and she keeps on saying "Bear with me saints, I'm nervous!" and you're in the congregation saying "I wish she would go 'head and make the announcement and sit down!!" And the Pastor is looking around all flustered wishing she would just wrap it up!!
High praise is going on and the Pastor and the old church mother are shouting together and her slip slips down to the floor and she don't care a bit!!
The ushers lock the front door during offering!!
The members try the ushers patience by trying to open the front door during prayer and the usher looks back through the door window with a look like "Touch this door again and you will die"!!
You bust the back out of a tambourine you borrowed without permission and try to slip it under somebody else's seat!!